Ladies, Ladies…All the Ladies!!

I am going to try to be better at writing down all the funny stuff my kids say.  I keep saying I’m going to do this and I always forget… and then I always forget what they say… so I plan on adding to this as life goes on…here are a few I still remember:

42.  Lately when Emma Faye falls down we screams out, “I’m broken!!!”  (she just means she bumped her head or bruised her knee)

41.  While we were eating at the Cheesecake Factory one of their enormous fudge sundaes, Will screams out at Josh as he was about to  take a bite..”No Josh, don’t eat the wood!!!”  (they were sliced almonds)

40.  I was driving in the car and as we passed by an ABC store Will says to me, “Mommy, is that where you get all of my school supplies?”

39.  Josh and I were playing Candyland one afternoon.  Josh told me the that if he draws a blue color and lands on the Licorice space (the one where you have to skip a turn) that he “won’t pitch a fit this time.”  (yes, there is a history here.  We all have trouble when we are losing in our games.)

38.  Chris was reading to the boys tonight the story of the Tower of Babel from their little storybook.  ”Do you know what happened?” Chris asked.  “God made the different languages,” Will answered.  Chris then asked Will what language he speaks to which Will replied, “Ummm……regular?” 

37.  Will in the car after school one day was telling me all about Adam and Eve.  “Mom, they ate some fruit that they weren’t supposed to.”  I say, “And what did God do to them when they disobeyed him, sweetie?”  Will thinks a minute…”ummm… they just got a warning.” (this REALLY gave me a wake up call to my parenting… praise the Lord that He is true to is word and loves us enough to carry it out…)

36.  Chris asks “Josh, do you know what you want to be when you grow up?”  “Umm, yes…”  “What’s that?”  “Umm…Tall”

35.  Will learned about nursery rhymes at school and everyone was assigned a rhyme and had to bring something in that would give everyone a clue as to what the rhyme was… Will came home and said, “Mom, one of my friends brought a wall and honky donkey fell off…I like that one..will you read me that one….”  (I have to say friends… I read it and I HAD to refer to Humpty Dumpty as Honky Donkey… it was just to0 cute… had to keep that one going…)

34.  While my parents were staying with us this week, Mom went in Josh’s room to lie down with him(he was having trouble falling asleep…which he normally ends up crying himself to sleep… but bless sweet “Mama’s” heart… she can’t have that)…anyway, she said that while she was lying there… Josh kept feeling her face and said…”You can lie down with me.  But you can’t have my ‘night, night’(his little stuffed animal he sleeps with) ’cause my mommy gave that to me….oh, and you can’t have my baba either (his paci)…….then she said he reached over and stroked her cheek and said…”i like grits” (my children LOVE my mom’s grits… I can’t make them well, so I never do… but when she comes they like want grits for breakfast AND supper….)

33.  I was reading a little devotional story to Will and Josh the other night at bedtime and it posed the question…”what do you want do when you grow up?”  Josh: “I want to say, ‘Unlock the door, RIGHT NOW!!” (my kids are CONSTANTLY locking doors… and this is a line that their daddy is ALWAYS saying from the other side) and help daddy fix the garage.  Will: “I want to help daddy fix things and cook. “ 

32.  Josh, wanting to get ‘big’, so fast… has been walking around the house lately telling us that his “head is tall”…. We think he is trying to say that he’s growing.

31.  Josh, one night at supper said, “Mommy, when I’m big enough can I help clean the dishes?”…ummm.yeah, son!

30.  We were at the zoo with Papa and Will had run over to look at the ducks.  While climbing up on this little fence so  he could see easier he got a splinter in his finger.  He immediately runs over to us crying.  When asked what was wrong… he showed us his finger and said that the fence bit him.

29.  Today while Chris was sleeping he had the cable guy come and fix our digital “video on demand” which had been broken for some time.  When Chris finally got up, Will told him “Daddy, the table guy came today and fixed on the man.”

28.  Tonight at supper while Will and Josh were eating their peas… Will began to pick out the sort of ’squished’ ones and said…”Mommy, these are dead.”

27.  Apparently Will’s puppy wasn’t behaving himself and he said, “Mommy, Puppy needs to go in time out… I’m going to put him in the bathroom… he’s not being very nice.”  When he came out I asked how long does puppy need to stay in time out.  Will said, “umm…10 weeks and 20 min.”  I wonder if that is what 3 min feels like to a little boy. 

26.  Chris had just left for work and we were all getting ready to hop in the car to go to church on sunday morning.  I came out of my room wearing a black skirt and a black and white top that matched.  Both pieces had these little beads sewn throughout the material…but they were a little on the “shiny” side.  When Will (he ALWAYS notices everything)…saw me he says, “Oh mommy… I like that beautiful dress.  You look…”julious” (that’s what it sounded like he said).  What did you say, Will?  I asked.  “you look julious!”  What does ‘julious’ mean, Will?  He then replies, “You have jewels all over your dress…you know… “jewelous”  There’s a new word for all you pageant queens in your sequin gowns….”Jewelous”.

25.  One day the kids and I were playing “Doctor”….Will was checking my blood pressure… and suddenly he goes…”oh, no!  Mommy…. it’s not good”…”What is it?  What’s my pressure?” I replied.  “Mommy, it’s not good… it’s 10 miles.”  (Later, after Chris got home from work…Will needed to check his blood pressure.  Chris came into the kitchen and said…”Well, Will said my blood pressure was 18 months.)

24.  My mom came in town to visit us for a week.  On the way home after picking her up from the airport he said, “Mama, can I just ask you a question?”   “Yes, Will,” Mom responded.   ”Did you bring your grits and eggs with you?” (If you’ve read in some of the above quotes…my kids LOVE my mom’s breakfasts…esp. her grits)…and you best believe those kids had some eggs and grits for breakfast the next morning.

23.  One day while Will was playing basketball in the garage he called to me “Hey, mom!  Watch me Bunk it!”

22.  Josh came up to me in the yard, hand cupping his right ear…”do you hear that mommy?  I know what that is…it’s a Knocking Bird. (left hand doing a knocking motion).  FYI:  that week we had been reading in our Bird Book and learned about Mockingbirds.

21.  One morning Josh woke up before 6am yelling at the top of his lungs for Daddy…. I ran out of the room and told him to be quiet and if he had something he needed to say he should come downstairs and tell me.  In my haste I had forgotten to put some pj pants on… and yes.. .laundry was running low and yes I had some EXTREMELY skimpy underwear on and I’ll just leave it at that.. you know ladies the underwear we don’t wear everyday…. anyway… I went back in my room to dress and I hear Josh in my room. “Yes”  I say.

“Mommy, I have something to tell you……you’re missing part of your underwear.”  I died laughing–then I felt bad… he’s probably scarred for life!

20.  Now, when we spend family vacations at the beach my dad has a golf cart for all of us to ride to and from the ocean in.  Our neighborhood here in birmingham is right off of a golf course.  We were pulling in and Josh starts laughing really hard.  “Mommy… look at those golf carts… that’s so silly… that’s not the beach!” Poor little guy is a little confused I’d say.

19.  Lately Josh is obsessed with being strong.  However.. he uses the word as a noun.  The other day he came up to me flexing his little bicep and said, “Mommy…come feel my strong….feel in “dis air-weee-ah” (he was pointing to a particular area on his arm).

18.  Chris took the kids to Walmart last night.  He said he was walking down the “Feminine Hygiene” aisle (why, i have no idea..i know it wasn’t anything I was needing)…anyway.. he said that the boys kept pointing to the WALL of Tampax products saying VERY LOUDLY..”Daddy, Mommy has those.. Daddy, Daddy…. Mommy has these!”  Chris said he just kept saying..”yes, I know..shhhh… yes, I know..that’s great…sshhhh!”

17.  The other day I was at the gym working out.  Our gym is one of those health and wellness centers supported by a local hospital system here in Birmingham…St. Francis.  Based on the “founding beliefs” I suppose…there is a a picture of Jesus on the cross near the entrance into the gym.  I was on my way out with the boys and Josh, as loud as he could..asked, “Mommy, why is Jesus dying on the cross at the gym?” (umm…how do you answer that?)  Will answered for me..”Josh, Jesus died a long time ago on the cross…He’s not at the gym”.  Josh’s response, “but WILL, JESUS IS EVERYWHERE!!!”  (by this time people at the help desk were laughing hysterically)

16.  My boys went to spend some time with my mom and dad.  As they were traveling back to their house with the boys, my mom told me that Will said, “Mama, don’t tell anyone this but one time Josh went pee-pee in a cup.  but we aren’t supposed to tell anyone that.”  (yes, Josh ALWAYS has to pee…so on road trips by myself.. I must do the best I can.. and when all other kids are sleeping in a car…you better believe I’m not waking them up!..but I told everyone that it would be our little secret….note to self: Will can’t keep secrets. 

15.  I try so hard to cook well balanced meals for my family.  I try to stay away from processed and frozen meals.  The other night at supper I was sort of low on “sides” so I quickly threw in some Kraft Mac n Cheese.  (I particularly am not a fan.. I’d rather make it from scratch..anyway)..So I prepared this delicious meal and Will takes a bite first of the Mac-n-Cheese and goes….. “mmm..Mommy!  Now THIS is good.”  (Why do I bother)

14.  The boys were watching a video of Peter Rabbit.   Josh comes running in the kitchen crying…”I don’t like Mistah Mah-gwegor.  He keeps chasing dose bunnies.” (Josh is not a fan of the old Peter Rabbit)

13.  The boys had been fighting over something and both of them ended up injuring each other.  Chris asked them what was going on….”were ya’ll  pretending?”  Will said “Josh was being a mean bad guy.  Daddy, I just wanted to be a regular boy.”  (such the manipulator…

12.  We were getting ready to go to church one morning and Will decided to have a complaining heart.  “Why are we going to church?  I already know about Jesus, Mommy.  I don’t need to know anymore.” (whew, God… help me here!)

11.   One night I while I was cooking dinner, Will came into the kitchen and said.. “Mommy, can we watch George Lopez?”  (Where the heck did he get THAT one?

10.  Tonight Josh came downstairs…”Mommy, look, see this.  This is what I made when I was young.”  (He was showing me something he made last week at school.  I suppose he was “young”-er a week ago. eh?)

9.  I took the boys to look for little costumes to wear to their school pumpkin party and we stumbled upon a very “spooky” aisle in Wal-mart.  Before I could get them out of there, Josh hit this little button on something and this horrible voice started talking about how he was going to “Get Him” and all this “ooooo…..oooo…..aaahhh…aahhh” and scary laughing.  Well, Josh’s face turned as white as a ghost himself and he started crying.  Will immediately said VERY loudly…”I don’t know WHY they have to have all of this scary stuff with all these CHILDREN AROUND!”  (Buddy, I couldn’t have said it better myself.)  The women around us were dying laughing.  Josh kept saying “Mommy, you took us to a bad store.  It has too much pooky tuff.”  We got out of there as fast as we could!   Note to self:  buy the costume WITHOUT the children.

8.  After returning from a trip to the mall, Josh ran inside as quickly as possible.  “Daddy, Daddy… Mommy let us ride on the EXSCALATOR!!”  (so cute!)

7.  Today I used the phrase “we’ll be in a pickle if you do that.”  Josh asked…”What’s in a pickle mean?”  I explained to him as best I could.  He thought a minute and then said…”Mommy, when will we be in a cheezit?” (Cheezits are his favorite snack)

6.  Josh asked me “Mommy when will I be all grown up?”  “In several years” I said.  “Several is a long time,” he replied.

5.  One day I asked Will, “Will, how do you get to heaven?”  “Ummm….in a plane or a rocketship, Mommy…something that will get you up high.”

4.  When asked what should be pray for at prayertime one night, Josh said, “Umm.. that we will get to Mama and Papa’s house safely and not fall out of the car and stuff.”  (Yeah, um.. I’m going to pray that, too!)

3.  Will, in the car the other day was talking about going to Playhouse Disney LIVE (he heard the ad on the radio)…”Mom, can we please go.  You know, when they blow up bags and act like the charaters on TV.”

2.  Yesterday on the swingset Will was getting aggravated that Emma Faye kept climbing up and getting down the slide in front of him.  I didn’t hear all that was said, but Chris was talking to him something about babysitting and this was Will’s response, “Daddy, I have the gift of not babysitting!”

1.  Tonight Will was extremely upset because we forgot to DVR a movie from Movie Time Monday on the Disney Channel.. I said it would be ok and he said, “But the man said ‘Don’t Miss It!”  (Then I had to explain to him the concept of advertisement and that sometimes we will hear people tell us things that we don’t really HAVE to do.)