Ladies, Ladies…All the Ladies!!

Although he was a Son, we learned obedience from the things which He suffered.  (Hebrews 5:8)

Yesterday morning I awoke to a little blue posted note attached to the island in my kitchen with two verse references and Chris standing drinking a cup of coffee.  “I think this morning you should go to Panera and have some time by yourself.  Here, these are some verses I’ve been praying through for your today.”

Now, to someone else, this may seem offensive, or rude; for one spouse to send away his mate for a morning.  But my husband knows me well, and knows that this is just the sort of thing I crave and thrive upon.  Time alone with my Lord and my thoughts.  I was very grateful for such a treat.  For some reason, this week has been a very emotional one for me.  As I’ve been purging closets full of clutter and straightening pantries, my heart as been doing a little purging of heartache as we prepare to move yet again.  Have I mentioned how much I HATE moving?

It’s not really the packing that I detest.  I love a good challenge and I love to make my packing a game and see just how organized I can make things.  (I know, that seems odd.)  It’s the emotional “good-byes”  that wound me.  God has truly blessed our time here in Birmingham.  I have met such wonderful women and families.  I’ve been able to be apart of a wonderful God-fearing, grace-filled, church.  My children have been blessed upon blessed by wonderful friends and teachers.  It’s just been amazing to see how one woman could come kicking and screaming to a state and be so sad to now be leaving.  Here, I find myself.

I’m just overwhelmed.  Exhausted with pregnancy, things just take longer than I’d like them to.  Sometimes I’ve become bitter when I feel like people just don’t understand exactly how difficult things are right now for us.  The stress of selling our house, the stress of preparing for a new baby, the stress of personal extended family issues in Chris’s family, and the stress of maintaining some connection with “real life”  amidst it all is very draining.  I sat in the kitchen one night, hosting my own pity party, and just cried out, “I wish people would understand how hard we have it right now!  I just want one person who can truly understand where I’m coming from!!!”  (Now, clearly, I know there are a million people right now who could line up and give me a talking to about how easy my life really is.  I realize this.  Like I said, it was a pity party.. not a reality check.)  But have you ever wanted that?  Ever just wanted someone whom you know can truly relate?

“For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  Heb. 4:15-16

This was one of the verses on that little posted note.  I think somehow I often dismiss the fact that Jesus can really understand and relate to all I’m going through because He was perfect.    But scripture clearly states that He DOES understand.  He IS one who has dealt with our same issues of being overwhelmed by what the Lord has placed on our plate…”in the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death… Heb. 5:7″ .. .  Yet HE faced them without sin.

I have settled my heart of verse 8….He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. 

I am presently in training.  Obedience must be learned.  Just as Chris and I pray about how to teach our own children obedience, Christ is lovingly doing the same with us.  I remember a wise cousin of mine saying, “It isn’t really obedience when you are doing something that you WANT to do.  It’s when you do something you don’t want in OBEDIENCE to the command.”  And according to scripture, even Christ learned obedience.  Of course, he did it perfectly, without sin. 

So, I am in class, presently.  A pupil of the Most High Priest.  I will NOT do this perfectly, or even willingly all the time, but my imperfections and sufferings will be the means by which I grow.  I do have someone who understands me.  I do have someone who loves me and cares and reaches out to me in my pain.  Therefore, I can draw near to Him with confidence knowing I will receive the mercy and grace to help in my time of need.

The other verse on that little posted note?

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. “  Matt. 11:28-30

What I love most about this verse is the beginning of the verse that precedes it…”All things have been handed over to Me by my Father.”

Why then, do I fear and worry?  My instructor, my Savior, my friend, my redeemer, my protector, holds all things.  Surely, I may come to Him and take His rest and learn.  Surely what He has given me is what is best for me, for He truly loves me and understands me personally.  Lord, teach me to willingly accept your plans and walk in obedience according to your commands.