Ladies, Ladies…All the Ladies!!

Today is crazy.  I have done everything on my list, including school, laundry, dinner, took Will to Spanish class, and even got a nap…. still crazy nonetheless.  These two passages are the ones I’ve been clinging to today and thought I’d share.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ….. (2 Cor. 2:14)

Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God. (2 Cor. 3:5)

How comforting to know that when I rely on my Lord, my efforts are always being lead toward triumph in Christ.  His plans will be accomplished.  And anything I may accomplish, it is nothing on my own accord, but from my sweet Savior.  HE enables me to be adequate for the work He has asked of me.  This reminds me of one of my favorite passages: Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass. (1 Thess. 5:24)  Am I the only one needing to be reminded of this truth?  Press on mothers, fathers, teachers, wives, grandmothers, grandfathers.  Press on.  God has work for you to do.  You can do it if He’s asked it of you.  You can’t do it by yourself, but in Him you will.  Praise be to our faithful God!

So what was I thinking while rocking my daughter screaming for her daddy for 30min tonight while he was off at work and nothing could be done about this protest?  Well, I first began to think about how much last week sucked (sorry to use such language, here, but seriously it sucked!) and that this week was going to be equally as bad, but I caught myself, mid-thought.

1.  I could be living long ago in some two bedroom cabin with no noise machines or huge box fans to drown out the noise so as not to keep the rest of the house awake while Emma is screaming.

2.  Chris could be some country doctor and instead of being out helping people, and most importantly, CHILDREN.. he could be helping birth some calf.  (I mean, seriously, I don’t know if I could handle that.  I would be like it’s a cow for crying out loud!  You’re not going anywhere!–then again, if it was my only link to some burgers, I might make a few sacrifices.  I digress.)

3.  I could NOT have Tylenol to help with the fevers this week.

4.  I could NOT have antibiotics to fight their infections.

5.  I could NOT have a wonderful husband.

6.  I could NOT have these precious children who do bring me so much joy.

7.  We all have legs and arms and are able to do as we please.

8.  I have a Savior to whom I owe my strength, my life, and my salvation.

9.  I have the Holy Spirit to guide and direct.

10.  I have grace.  Grace that is sufficient.  Grace that brings me my bread, daily.  Grace just enough for each day.

These were just a few off the top of my head as I starred at the nursery walls.  Gosh, there are SO MANY MORE!  There is always someone worse off.  There are always blessings to be found within the trials.  It’s all about perspective and keeping our eyes centered and fixed on our Author and Perfecter of our faith.  HE is our constant reminder of the gifts we have and those we’ve yet to obtain that often get forgotten amidst the storms. 

Shhh…she’s finally fallen asleep.  Praise God!  Now I’m going to slip away, myself, to dreamland.  nighty-night.

Wow.  Where do I begin.  It’s Saturday night.  Emma Faye is screaming, “let’s play blocks, mommy!”  She’s been doing this for about 30 min.  Am I a bad mother?  hmmm.  I just don’t know at this point.  Saturday finds me fatigued, irritated, and well, all and all “DONE!”  (to put it in my terms.)  But let’s back up, here, and just do a little recap of this week………

I think the last time, other than this morning, I was able to get up and get a shower and actually put on “clean clothes” (I use this term loosely because basically at this season in my life, if it doesn’t have a stain on it, it’s clean…. smells?  ah, that’s what perfumes are for, right?  It just has to look clean.).. anyway.. where was I?  oh, yeah… when I got dressed, we went to Old Baker’s Farm as a family.  Yep, I was going to pack up the kids and drive out into ‘nowhereville’ Alabama and visit a REAL working farm with animals and stuff and we were going to get us a homegrown, made from scratch, right out of the field, pumpkin.    I had heard great things about this place and their website was filled with pictures of kids laughing, adults square dancin’, people eatin’ candied apples.  They also listed a bluegrass band and pony rides.  Man, this was going to be AWESOME!  (I’m thinking to myself.)  Tuesday was our only day to go as a family, so Tuesday it was.

Well, we finally found it and pulled into an enormous field next to an enormous sign, “PARKING.”  Chris sort of laughed and asked in his most Clark Griswald tone, “hey kids, where you wanna park?”  This was a rhetorical question being that we were the only car pulling into this enormous field.  We appeared to be the only family on this desolate farm.  “I PROMISE they said they were open,” I pleaded to Chris.  He maintained his smirk.

We were then met by a farmer, and we all hauled into a massive tractor bed lined with hay and the man’s dogs.. which my children thought was awesome.  Me, not so much.  And our family of 5 rode out through this swamp all alone, finally arriving in a field which I realized was the actual pumpkin patch.  I really don’t know what I was picturing in my mind, this pumpkin patch, for I had never been to one before… but it was definitely a lot  neater and cleaner in my mind.  I suppose something out of a Charlie Brown Halloween cartoon.  I don’t know.  But as I glanced around at all the dirt and weeds, I just kept seeing my kids tripping over vines, stepping in fire ant piles everywhere, and picking up and throwing down pumpkins right and left!  I just KNEW someone was going to break a toe!

Finally, after picking our “pumps”, we road back to the farmhouse.  Where were the candied apples?  Where was the bluegrass band?  Where were all the happy children? and the square dancin?  I guess not on a Tuesday afternoon, huh? 

Our kids started melting down.  One by one they were droppin’ like flies.  (See, I had assumed there would be some kind of snacks or something to sustain them through until dinner.  It was now 5pm.  Uh, oh.  no food.)  “I’m hungry!!”  “I’m so thirsty.”  I was so stressed.  Old man Baker kept talking to us while Will was screaming, “I’m so thirsty, why isn’t there anything to drink… WHY!WHY!”   I fought the urge to join in crying out “GET US OUT OF THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLACE, LORD!!”  and thankfully maintained my restraint.  We got in the car as quickly as we could.  Emma was now hyperventilating.  Josh?  Um, he’s out.  Dead asleep.  And thus, on the way home from Baker’s Farm the flu entered our car- AND our week.

Josh was hit that night and Will three days later.  My days and nights are all mixed up.  Chris is in and out with work.  I think I’ve cooked grits and eggs every single night this week for dinner.  (It’s all they’ve wanted.)  The boys seem to get better and then fever strikes again.

Me?  Hmm… I’m an emotional ocean.  One minute I’m empowered, the next drowning.  But tonight, I feel I’ve gained some perspective, along with some pounds (ice cream has been the vice this week, unfortunately).  BUT I’ve been studying through 2 Corinthians and I’ve just been camped on this one particular passage.

For as many as are the promises of God, in Him they are yes; therefore also through Him is our Amen to the glory of God through us.  Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.

2 Cor. 1:20-22

I don’t know, in me there are no guarantees.  I had PROMISED Will that I would take him to that pumpkin patch and when I saw it wasn’t going to work out this weekend, I went when I knew it probably wouldn’t be as much fun… and it wasn’t.  I somehow felt I failed him.  This week I’ve felt defeated with all the sickness.  I’ve checked out more then I’ve checked in, relying on television and movies to get me through the day with them.  I’m tired.  I feel inadequate.  I’ve had a complaining heart.  “I can’t do this!”  “This is TOO much.”  In ME, no…. in HIM, yes.

The kids and I are on John 15:5 this week in our school..I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.  This was the entire reason we even went to the pumpkin patch in the first place!  I wanted the children to see those plump pumpkins thriving on their vine.  It never fails that God continues to use my motherhood as a ministry to minister, not to my children, but to ME. 

I’ve plucked myself from the vine this week.  I pulled myself out of the patch and armored up for this battle.. alone.  But He promises that in Him I will bear fruit.  His promises are always guaranteed.  They are YES in Him.  God has established us in Christ and in that has anointed our work.  He’s given us the Holy Spirit to guide and teach…and we are sealed in Him even when we try to cut ourselves off the vine.  These unexplained hardships that disappoint in life aren’t for our punishment, they are for our sanctification.  A group of friends reminded me of this passage in John, I had forgotten about.  It is found in John 9.  The disciples passed by a man who had been born blind and they began asking Jesus, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” (v. 2)  I weep at the response Jesus gives. 

It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parent; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

So tonight, I’ve turned to Him, instead of friends, instead of updating a desperate facebook status, instead of searching for reasons WHY and HOW we all ended up like this this week, instead of wallowing in self-pity and insecurity.  I’m resting in HIS patch. Just right here, amidst the weeds and dirt of disease.  Right alongside the ant piles of laundry and housework that needs to be done.  Yes, I’m going to soak up His sun, and drink from His fountain.  And do my job….take care of my precious family in complete reliance upon the Lord, and grow myself.  Hopefully one day I will become a beautiful pumpkin, ripe for the picking. 

Ha!  This is funny to me.  I see my daughter and I think about how she loves “princesses.”  I’m picturing Cinderella and how we all rally around her to get out BEFORE her carriage becomes a pumpkin.  God uses the stranges things to teach me about Himself.  Who knew all of this would come from a simple visit to a pumpkin patch?