Lesson in Self-control
I am presently sitting here in my kitchen listening to my three year old screaming and beating the door. He’s been in the playroom since 6am…it’s 7am now. He was up all night and he’s been up pretty much every night this week. With Chris gone at night and me dealing with all of his antics…I’m starting to think if this is Satan’s attempt to completely “take me out” (as they say in sports) for this retreat this weekend. I’m exhausted and have had little time to really prepare things.
“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we are imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
I think I value sleep more than anything else. The other morning after I let Chris “sleep in” he came out sort of dragging. He said “Have you ever slept so much that you seemed more tired?” My response was “Never.” I can NEVER get enough sleep. I just LOVE it. So this has been my complaint this morning.
“Lord, how am I supposed to do all I have to do when I can’t get sleep. How am I supposed to be in your word when my children are waking up before my alarm clock? I’m EXHAUSTED!”
I don’t know…. I was reading this passage this morning and it suddenly occurred to me that Paul was probably CONSTANTLY exhausted… and we are not guaranteed sleep and preparation in our service to Him. Perhaps it causes us to rely on HIM all the more… perhaps it enables us to attribute ALL of our work and efforts to HIM and Him alone. So I suppose the Lord is bringing me to a place of complete reliance on Him this week. I’m broken and frustrated. I’m tired and discouraged…. but my body is to become my slave….I am learning self-control. Therefore I will press on.. sleep deprived…… and I will be thankful. Ok, now let me run before Josh breaks down the door. Have I ever told you how much I LOVE starting my day like this?
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October 23rd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Friend, it is as if you are writing my story this week! It is so amazing how children — and sleep deprivation — can bring you to such a new reliance on the Lord. I have been longing to call you this week, but the Lord has just not set aside the time… maybe when this retreat is over this weekend, we can get together one day next week! I will be praying for you as you are leading worship this weekend… wish I could be there!
crystal Says:
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Jenny, hang in there, a time will come when you realize that you have slept all night for a week and then it will get longer. Even when we get “enough” sleep at night, I think that the constant worrying as a mother tires us out more than ever getting “too much” sleep. You are a good mom - hang in there!!
November 5th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Jenny, I love reading your thoughts. It’s tough when they are little and drive you to the breaking point, but then they get older…and do the same thing in a different way! Reading all this made me miss when my girls were little and things were easily solved. Thanks so much for your prayers during these tough times in our lives. We love you and your family.
Keep Believing!
John