in between exits
Mommy, something is popping in my ear. It must be my ear confection. —Josh, 3
Over dinner tonight Chris was trying to explain to the boys how we get sick. Will was VERY interested… “So, Daddy.. where do these ‘bacteria’ come from?”
WHAT?!?! This was all way too over my head… BUT this topic managed to keep their attention in such a way they BOTH were rewarded for good table manners. (Their FIRST reward for table manners… we have set up a little behavior chart with rewards and consequences…long story, but much needed.) Needless to say, after a mini dissertation from our on-site Pediatrician, everything Josh referred to somehow was related to his “ear confection.” —And yes, Chris looked in his ears today and they were infected. :) –well, I suppose I should have a frowny face… : ( — there, much better. and I digress.
So, here we go. But this entry will NOT be a list of questions and complaints like “Why are my kids always sick?” or “Why does this have to always happen?” or “Why are my kids the ONLY ones having to miss school?”….. NOPE, not going there tonight. I’m actually going to try and stay CLEAR of THERE. THERE gets me NOWHERE. and I want to keep going somewhere… somewhere out of THERE. You know what I mean? People keep asking me, “How are you guys doing?” And honestly… I really could go on and on about “how we are doing.”…..but I’ve realized today that right now things are hard…. and they are just going to be for a while…. not forever… but for awhile. I have young children. My oldest is 4. Things are busy and hard and that’s how I am doing.
So I accept my state. I suppose that is what today has been about for me. I have fought the meal my mother has served me and I’ve finally decided instead of going hungry, I’m gonna eat it. I’m going to make the most of it. I’m going to let it at best nourish my body… it doesn’t have to taste good… it just has to be enough to satisfy my one meal. Just enough….my daily bread.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with the concept of time and how quickly it passes. I want everything to have been meaningful and purposeful. What I concluded? I think I over think things. That simple. Driving back from Nashville this past weekend I realized something as I watched the mile marker signs race past my car. I saw my life and spiritual journey in terms of a highway. And no I didn’t start singing “Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long.” (anyway…who wants to ride all night long.. I’d be EXHAUSTED..ok.. I digress again.) Bear with me. I know, I know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all have our ULTIMATE destination… I mean I was traveling to Birmingham…but what about the little stops along the way. our little mile markers…the cities we recognize as our “almost home” spots….that little something that keeps you trekking on. Traveling back and forth from Alabama to South Carolina I always get a little “perky” when we reach Augusta and I’m revived. I suppose what I’m getting at is what about all the other miles in between. What about the times you set out and want to cover as much “ground” as possible so you aren’t going to stop until you need to. You don’t really know where or when that is going to be. You may have an idea of the exit, but you never know for sure. Miles upon miles are passing by….and nothing really eventful is happening only that which is continuing you on toward your final destination. I suppose I’m in between exits right now. I fight for purpose in everything… in every day. But perhaps the purposes of some days are just a means by which to bring on the next day in your progression with Christ. I never really notice those little green mile marker signs. They serve only the purpose to let you know how far you’ve come and how far you’ve left to go. One mile won’t seem like much… but cover 50 and you realize you’ve traveled some distance. They add up.
As, I was thinking how I wished our lives could have little mile markers, I passed my exit off of I-65 where I used to in Brentwood, TN. It only took me a second picturing that old apartment and that young lady living in there to realize I’m a completely different person. THAT was my marker. I see the change that Christ has done in my life. And that’s the beauty of time and Christ. I know there will come a day when I will look back on my life with three small children and a husband in a Pediatric Fellowship and I will not recognize another young woman….it will be my prayer that once again I will see how Christ had continued to transform me more into His image. So, I’m ok right now to be in between exits. I’ll enjoy the ride. At least for now I’m gassed up, “pottied up” :), have me a snack…. I’ve got a good song playing on the radio “My redeemer is Faithful and True”. He is. When we are in Him… He is in us and motivating and changing and transforming. It’s one of those things when we believe he has begun a good work in us… we also must believe He is faithful to complete it–
Lord, give me today, my daily bread… and bring me tomorrow one mile closer to you.
