Milestones
Emma Faye is finally pulling up on things. I know, I know… this is something she should have been doing LONG before her 1st birthday… it’s taken me three times, but I’ve finally learned that children are going to do things when they are good and ready…OR my husband will just evaluate them and then we’ll take them to physical therapy. 
As much as I am happy for this new milestone, I must say it is my least favorite. I just cringe as I watch her fall …..bamming her chin on the coffee table… ramming her head against the edge of the crib… or just plain collapsing on the floor. I hate these things, but I know they are going to happen… they do happen… and I race over to kiss her boo-boos and dry her tears. It’s painful..yet there is something inside all of our children that compels them to continue the climb……perfect the skill. What is that?
I have had a difficult day today. I’ve been evaluating my parenting today… and Satan LOVES it when I do that. Anytime I’m evaluating ANYTHING I do in my life… He loves it because time spent evaluating MY-self means less time focusing on MY- Savior. I wish amidst the downward spiral of self mutilation, I could see it for what it really is…Satan’s ploy to get me down and keep me down. I was watching Emma Faye crawling around the room and suddenly saw myself crawling around in my walk of faith. I dare say I’m walking at this point in my life. Sometimes in those “mountaintop moments” I’ve managed to stand holding the crib rails with all of my might… but more contemplating on My-self and my accomplishments… I tumble to the floor. So today I feel like I’ve just busted my chin on the coffee table. Today, I’d rather sit and cry and whine about my failures to stand than try to stand again……..yet something inside propels me…something compels me to try again…this is my walk with the Lord….or crawl, I should say. I praise the Lord, He is that voice. And that’s how I see grace. Not the permission to continue sinning against our Lord… but HIS constant commission to try and pull up again. His AIDING us in that. Satan wants to tell us that we teach ourselves how to walk. We accomplish these milestones on our own. We raise our children on our own…We think we create their personalities by offering up multiple “opportunities” for them….or “exposures.” When am I going to get it? We are handed these PEOPLE. Just because they are small…doesn’t mean they can’t think or feel…Like I said… Satan LOVES for me to waste away in my failures and BATHE in what I think are MY accomplishments….when anything good comes out of me OR my children…it is the LORD who is due the glory!
This is where my heart has parked tonight. I’m bruised…but I’m trying again….I’m reaching up…I’ve got one foot anchoring myself… almost there…nope… I fall….I try again. My friends.. I’ve said this before–and I’ll say it again……God cares about the process, not the perfection. Continue in Christ: in the good and the bad… in sickness and in health..in riches and in poverty. I pray we will hear Him calling us out to continue….”Continue on, my child.”
“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. “
Philippians 3:12-14
