My Day: His Day
In the spare time that I have these days I’m trying to read through Corinthians. It’s taken me forever because I keep getting interrupted. Sometimes I read while the kids are watching TV in the morning… others before they wake up (although, Josh has been getting up no later than 6:15am lately–dressed and ready to start his day… SO FRUSTRATING!)…however… the Lord blesses my time I do spend with him. I praise Him that somehow amidst the chaos he allows me to retain a little of what I’m reading. I always realize this later in my day when something happens and suddenly scripture comes to my mind. Seriously…the Lord still speaks to us…. and He DOES use His words.
For instance, yesterday morning I was reading in 1 Corinthians, chapter 6 “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Cor. 6:19-20). Now as I breezed by this familiar verse to me… I was like, “Oh.. yeah.. my standard ‘diet’ verse. I think I’ve claimed this 1,ooo times as I was reaching for a cupcake or something chocolate… really didn’t phase me, honestly……THAT MORNING….. However, as I was sitting outside on my patio later that afternoon… holding happy Emma Faye in my lap, watching Will play contently in the sandbox… all the while trying not to look at my disgruntled 2 1/2 year old screaming at me through our kitchen window..(I had locked him IN the house… he kept following me around screaming about something that was just well.. STUPID…and I wasn’t giving in… and if anyone has been around my Josh during these stubborn outbursts…well… it’s tortuous… so I needed him to be somewhere safe…..but I needed some barrier between us… for HIS protection–anybody been there?….)anyhoo… all that said…. I was sitting outside contemplating… yet again…. what I do and the value of my time these past days….and suddenly there was a voice deep inside me that simply stated….. you are not your own.
Just last night we were constantly up and down with Emma… I mean… it was literally ALL NIGHT…. and at around 4:00am I hit a wall and was REALLY about to lose it…when that voice again …….. you are not your own. honor me with your body.
It stopped me dead in my rage….and I simply took my sweet little girl in my arms and we slept the rest of the night together on the couch. Now, I know that may seem silly… I know that passage is talking about sexual immorality… BUT God was using that passage to speak something different to me last night and yesterday…..
I am not my own. These circumstances that I find myself in… are not my own. And my body encompasses everything from physical to emotional… to spiritual…… My weaknesses are rage and anger. Without Christ, I’m a done deal in that department and anyone who knows me… knows that. I lose my temper SOOO easily. and I HATE it! So in becoming quickly angered, I am not honoring the Lord with my body… in my outbursts… in my language….in my gestures…. in my sighs….. It cuts even deeper… with my thoughts… my heart…. my outlook….my faith….my hope…. See, I want to be in control. I want to determine how my day is going to be. It’s like I want to make my children bow and curtsy their way through the day obeying every one of my commands… and they better have a ”yes Ma’am” before their actions. Oh, if I could only just live up to the expectations I place on my children in my daily walk with Christ. I think about how Will HATED those swimming lessons and how he would cry and whine and stomp around the house on swimming lesson day….. Well, last night around 2:30 that’s exactly how I was behaving when my sick child wasn’t allowing me to do what I wanted to do… SLEEP! Once again… I am not my own… my days are NOT my own…they are the Lord’s…. and I am to honor him in THAT day. The day that He has given me…. I have a choice. Hey… there’s my control. Why don’t we long to embrace control over our RESPONSE to these little curve balls and win some points for Jesus in Satan’s little game he plays with us all the time, rather than just griping about the curve ball all day. So here is where I am today. I’m tired….but my tired body is not my own. I am to honor the Lord. I am to pray for the supernatural… the power of Christ to literally sustain me through today… and you know what… He is doing that! I really hate that phrase “Let Go and Let God”…. but in these days.. perhaps that’s the best thing to do. Let Go of the fact that our kids are sick.. or our husbands are working longer than usual.. we’re tired… our kids want to battle us over everything…. let go of those things (they really were never in our hands in the first place…) and LET GOD redeem the day… let God sanctify you through THIS day…. let the Lord extend peace to you this day…watch Him enter your door and walk your floors…. and really strengthen you in ways you never knew He could… watch Him restore your marriage….. provide patience for your children… and most importantly extend to you the higher perspective… the greater calling in what you are doing…. and how it’s glorifying our Lord.
You are not your own.
(Can you believe I was angry at this precious thing? It only goes to show how we are doomed to sink without Christ at the helm.)
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May 7th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
No you are not your own. Our bodies and our families are not ours. God owns it all. We are only caretakers here on this earth for just awhile. He has trusted us to glorify Him with all of the blessings He trust us with. Dying to ourselves is difficult and is a constant battle because we want our way. However God has a way of using anyone even a family members to shape us to become more like Him. You are serving God in a great way through caring for these beautiful children. I love those children and Emma Fayes picture is adorable. I wish I could have slept with her. Remember these days will pass all too quickly.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Girl you are so right. thank you for sharing with transparency, humor and candor. But I will be honest IT IS SOOOOOO STINKIN’ HARD!!!
Anger and rage, impatience are my big battlefields too and so often after one of them throws a temper tantrum I hear the Lord whisper, “does that look familiar?” I may not throw myself on the floor but when it is 8:00pm and they spill water all over the floor, or hurt their brother, I certainly can throw a royal fit. Thank goodness for grace and brand new days.