Ladies, Ladies…All the Ladies!!

This month is going to be interesting.  I hated that Chris was gone so much last month, but it did give me time in the evenings for blogging or writing… just time to myself.  I’m sort of a “me time” kind of person.  I suppose that makes me an introvert.  I really am able to recharge by being alone.  So tonight we are back from vacation and all of us are here.  However, Chris has a basketball game that he would like to watch and this just worked out perfectly.  I know it is nothing less than God being very gracious to me.  He’s gradually introducing me to this month and easing me in.  J  I have so much on my heart.  I really have been longing to sit down and write out my thoughts.

Today was an ABSOLUTELY beautiful day!  We played outside all day!  I just love spring.  However, it’s days like these that make me long for my sweet town of Charleston, SC.  I miss the walks downtown, the beaches, and get-togethers with my friends.  Really… I think I’m just a little homesick for my friends today.  Whenever we had days like these…I was almost always calling up my friend Heather, or dialing Sheri’s number to go for a walk.  Sheri would always laugh at me in regards to my weather predicting abilities.  She would call up one day and ask to go on a walk and I would ask her what the weather said.  She’d say something like… clear and sunny.  I would glance out of my window….”I don’t know, Sheri… those clouds are looking sort of funny… I think it’s going to rain.  Why don’t we wait a little longer and see.”  One day after a similar conversation, it just started pouring.  I heard my phone ring….it was Sheri, “Well, I don’t need to check the weather report, I just need to call you.”  She laughed.  It was all pretty coincidental…I mean, I really have no supernatural abilities… so it always made me laugh.  I hate going out when it rains… I don’t like wind and cold… I DETEST HOT….but give me a sunny day like I had today and you can’t keep me inside!  However, I was doing a little reading over vacation and stumbled upon this particular verse and honestly… I’ve been parked here ever since.

“He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap.”  Ecclesiastes 11:4.

I’m CONSTANTLY seeking the weather for the day outside my own bedroom window.  Right when I wake up I glance outside and I make a prediction.  This morning the sun was shining and the birds were singing…”It’s going to be gorgeous today” I thought to myself.  I need to get dressed.  But what about the days it’s gloomy… what about the days it’s already raining…. Honestly… I stay in my pjs longer.  I cancel my plans.  I fatigue myself instantly with thoughts of staying inside all day with my kids.  I make a HUGE pot of coffee and strap on a “just get through the day” attitude.  After reading this passage… sadly, I feel like I do this spiritually as well.

What do I do with issues the Lord places on my heart?  I would love to tell you that I immediately withdraw in prayer…. I seek His counsel… I believe He’s listening… I know I will be able to hear Him…but honestly… my first response is to look elsewhere.  I look at the wind… I see all the wrong things that could happen.  I see the impossibilities rather than the possibilities in God’s will.  I wonder what others will think.  I worry, I worry, I worry… really about everything.  Sometimes…in being threatened by such bad weather… I want to “cancel” God’s plans.  Have you ever thought about that?  I mean… has God ever placed on your heart something and it just seems crazy… and really you are all about it…UNTIL you start looking at the winds and the clouds and you then think it’s going to be too much to withstand so you consider cancelling?  Or worse… you actually decide not to go? 

I think about the rain.  I think about how so often I don’t venture out into the rain.  Do we not have umbrellas?  Do we not have raincoats and boots?  I am equipped for the rain….but I never seem to use my gear.  Sometimes I wonder if I have ever missed sweet moments with my children having not gone out in the rain…. I KNOW I’ve missed sweet moments with my Savior having avoided any rain.  He has equipped me for whatever he has called of me.

“For the one who calls is faithful, and He will do it.”  1 Thessalonians 5:24

I get so frustrated with myself when I draw back from Him because of my fear or worry;  especially when it is worry over what others are doing or what others will say.  I SO want to serve Him…. I want to “bear much fruit”  (John 15:5).  I must simply focus on my day and my service to Him in that day.  I want to sow… I can’t do that watching the wind.  I want to reap all He has for me and my family..I can’t do that looking at the clouds.

“He said to him[Peter], ‘Follow Me!’…..so Peter seeing him said to Jesus, “Lord, and what about this man?” 

Jesus said to him, “ If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you?  You follow Me!” John 21:19,21-22

What is Christ asking of you?  What He is asking of one of us… he may not be asking of the other.  It is only important what He is asking of YOU.  Where is He asking you to follow Him.  Jesus was constantly saying to people…Follow me.  That’s all.  He never really said where….he never really said what…..He did explain why we should…. And I believe He’s still doing this today.  He’s still calling all of us.  We ALL have issues we are dealing with and praying through… and He just wants us to Follow Him in those…Follow HIM…not the weather…not our finances… not our dreams…. not OUR plans… but HIS.  It’s SOOOO hard.  But my heart is willing.  I am praying for it to be more willing.  Praise the Lord that he loves us!!  He loves us so much.  Today I was reminded of a verse that I can spat off in my sleep…but I have never really thought about…..

“But the angel said to them, “do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”  Luke 2:10-11

…..“has been born FOR YOU a Savior”  For ME, Jenny!  A Savior… for ME!!!  Life is SOOO hard… I mean I hate the uncertainty of LIFE in general…but I have a Savior who was born for me….to save ME….who loves ME….who has plans for ME….HOW EXCITING!!!  May I NEVER think the Lord is not at work in my heart when it begins to rain in my life.  May I STOP looking at the weather…may I follow him…eyes on my Savior…ears attentive to His words… and with a willing heart to serve Christ in all things.

Tomorrow morning, I’ll have my blinds closed.  I’ll wake up…but I will not look outside my window to see what kind of day I will have…. I will first read a word in my Bible… then get dressed….as I sit for breakfast I perhaps may glance outside my kitchen window and notice the kind of day the LORD will have for me….whether it is sunny… or rainy… I will be dressed, ready, and equipped in the word for a servant attitude.  I don’t always wear my shoes in my house… but I will make sure they are close at hand… for you never know where the Lord is going to ask you to Follow Him—and I want to be able to go…. immediately.